grey's logic #1

I've heard that it's possible to grow up -
I've just never met anyone who's actually done it.
Without parents to defy,
we break the rules we make for ourselves.
We throw tantrums when things don't go our way,
we whisper secrets with our best friends in the dark,
we look for comfort where we can find it,
and we hope -
against all logic, against all experience.
Like children, we never give up hope.

the writers of grey's anatomy hit the nail on the head quite often. that's one of meredith's soliloquies up there. and it's true of me.

i break the rules i make for myself.

i throw tantrums when things don't go my way. the tantrums are sometimes in front of true friends, but most often they are internal...played out in my mind while trying to fall asleep.

i share secrets with a best friend. she knows exactly what haunts me. and there is no judgement.

i look for comfort where i can find it. i am lucky. i know where my comfort is.

and against all of the logic that this world throws at me, i hope.

against all that life experience tells me, i still hope.

i foolishly hope.

oh God, i hope.