"the art of being happy..."

"...lies in the power of extracting happiness from common things." - henry ward beecher

marigolds remind me of my beautiful and loving grandmother, vonberta. spending sundays at her home is one of my sweetest childhood memories.

"home is not where you live, but where they understand you." - christian morganstern

i love these people.

they are indeed my home away from home.

in his father's footsteps

"We can perhaps remember - even if only for a time - that those who live with us are our brothers; that they share with us the same short moment of life; that they seek - as we do - nothing but the chance to live out their lives in purpose and happiness."  - Robert F. Kennedy, 1966

robert kennedy fought for the poor and disenfranchised, the dispossessed and powerless.  his son, robert f. kennedy, jr. continues the fight.  the younger kennedy's words near the end of the speech below (at the premiere of the "no kidding, me too!" documentary) are eerily reminscent of his father's:

"america is a place where we're supposed to build communities. we’re not going to be judged so much based upon the wealth of our citizens or the size of our armies or the throw-weight of our weapons or the power of our industries, but how we care for the least fortunate members in our society, how strongly and robustly we fight to include all the members of our community, no matter what their disability, and how strongly we avoid the seduction of the notion that we can advance ourselves as a people by leaving our poor brothers and sisters behind. we have to go forward as a community and we have to include the people who are the most vulnerable, the most alienated, in the most pain and agony. our response to that in the past has just been to add on cruelty. and joey’s [pantoliano] up there saying we can’t live that way anymore. that it’s bad not only for the people who suffer this disease but it’s bad for all of us to live in a society that condones that."

how beautifully put.



(mr. kennedy's reference to "joey" is joe pantoliano, mental health advocate and founder of "no kiddding, me too." also, mr. kennedy suffers from the neurological disorder spasmodic dysphonia, which makes speech difficult.)

dum ego anhelo, spero (latin proverb)

the birth of bleeding hearts

"give me odorous at sunrise a garden of beautiful flowers where i can walk undisturbed.” - walt whitman

i choose kindness. . . i will be kind to the poor, for they are alone. kind to the rich, for they are afraid. and kind to the unkind, for such is how God has treated me. - max lucado

i was reminded this weekend, from more than one person, that no kind action ever stops with itself.

weekend thank-yous

to jenn and eli, dan and laura, fern, and mario. i never take kindness for granted.

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. ~Plato

"one great use of words is to hide our thoughts." - voltaire

it seems that over the course of the past two weeks (since julie's messages about the power of words), i have been abnormally subjected to some really bad ones!  while trying in earnest to watch my own tongue, and often doing a pretty lousy job of it, i have, at the same time, become increasingly aware of the truth behind the following:

"great talker, great liar."  ~ french proverb

i was told once that liars never stop talking.  a gentleman i know who used to work in law enforcement stated that the "guilty ones" always refused to shut up.  perhaps while trying to convince the authorities of their innocence they were trying to convince themselves as well.  i've seen this alot lately.  my students are bad about it, of course, and so are my own kids.  yes, i do it too.  we all lie.  but i've experienced this recently with someone who's a real pro. and he/she (i won't say which) scares the bejeebers out of me! 

"flattery is all right so long as you don't inhale.” ~ adlai stevenson

my mother told me once when i was in college to "beware the flatterer".  well, amen, mother.  i get it.  i totally get it.  words definitely have the power to inspire confidence and esteem; i love to compliment others (perhaps because i like to be complimented myself), but there is certainly a fine line between building someone up and being a complete phony.  honestly, don't we all realize when someone is insincere?  sometimes, don't we just want to say..."thanks, but i'm not inhaling this time". 

"it's not what you say.  it's how you say it."

ouch.  this one hurts me the most.  hey, i'm not innocent of committing this crime.  i'm probably at my worst with my own kids.  but man.  i don't take a disrespectful tone with my peers because they are...well...my peers.

so perhaps the childhood adage of:

if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all, is still the best way to go.

 i'm still working on that one, too.

amazingly coincidental

read this earlier today on one of my co-worker's 'quote of the day' desk calendars:

Arrogance is a mixture of impertinence, indiscipline, rudeness, harshness, and a self-assertive nature.   ~ swami sivananda

"today, you have 100 percent of your life left.” - tom landry

typical brayden and ian. a little waverly tiger and notre dame figting irishman, beating the snot out of each other on a football saturday. for them, life doesn't get any better than this...

question #1

do people seriously believe this is intended to be "brainwashing"?

you. have. got. to. be. kidding. me.

to quote knute rockne: "Most men, when they think they are thinking, are merely rearranging their prejudices."

"Boys are beyond the range of anybody's sure understanding, at least when they are between the ages of 18 months and 90 years." -James Thurber

“Do not waste yourself in rejection; do not bark against the bad, but chant the beauty of the good.”

~Ralph Waldo Emerson

admonishment

What you don't see with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth.
~Jewish Proverb

quotes from the counter-culture

well, from jim morrison, specifically.

oddly enough, i agree with jim on a few things...

*People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that’s bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they’re afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they’re wrong. Pain is something to carry. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It’s all in how you carry it. That’s what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you’re letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain.

*The most important kind of freedom is to be what you really are. You trade in your reality for a role. You trade in your sense for an act. You give up your ability to feel, and in exchange, put on a mask. There can't be any large-scale revolution until there's a personal revolution, on and individual level. It's got to happen inside first. You can take away a man's political freedom and you won't hurt him- unless you take away his freedom to feel. That can destroy him. That kind of freedom can't be granted. Nobody can win it for you.

*I think of myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being with the soul of a clown which always forces me to blow it at the most important moments.

quoting "you've got mail"...

...because i'm feeling incredibly small and insignificant and almost defeated in my work.

Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life. Well, not small, but valuable. And sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven't been brave? So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn't it be the other way around? I don't really want an answer. I just want to send this cosmic question out into the void. So good night, dear void.

sick day

i've been home the past two days with a sinus infection and laryngitis. yesterday, i laid on the couch all day, feeling as if someone had hit me square in the face with the back of a frying pan. today is a little better. i'm still fighting the urge to actually get some work done around here. i have serious issues with resting and doing nothing else. all i can see is clutter that needs to be picked up, laundry that should be thrown in the washer, and beds that need to be stripped and changed.

charles shultz wrote the following in his 1967 book about happiness:

i discovered yesterday that daytime television pretty much stinks. thank goodness for the bob ross (joy of painting) episodes i have on dvr. i pressed 'play'on those and never looked back...

today i've been grading papers and trying to work on lesson planning for next week. piddling on my blog is my break for now. so i'm going to spend the next few minute posting a little bit of this and that...

here is my adorable husband around the age of two (with my mother-in-law, martha):

what a cutie! this is the same man who sent me a dozen roses last monday, who convinced me to stay home and take care of myself this week, and who left the following note for me yesterday morning: not poetry, perhaps, but the thoughtfulness and love behind it have caused me to tuck the note away in a special place.

speaking of poetry, i recently rediscovered the poetry of robert creeley. my three favorites: for love , the rain, and the hill. i'll close this post with both the text of the hill and an invitation for you to comment on any of creeley's work.

It is sometime since i have been
to what it was had once turned me backwards ,
and make my head into
a cruel instrument .

It is simple
to confess . Then done ,
to walk away , walk away ,
to come again .

But that form , I must answer ,
is dead in me , completely ,
and I will not allow it
to reappear -

Saith perversity , the willful ,
the magnanimous cruelty ,
which is in me
like a hill .

happy thanksgiving, memories of grandma, and other ramblings

i haven't blogged anything of substance in a long time, mainly because i've really been wondering about the potentially narcissistic bent of my posts. but hey, it's the holiday season, and i've received emails from some of you wondering what the heck is going on in my world...so here you go.

monday night, kate and i went to the ohio theater to see my cousin jonathan and the OU marching 110 perform. talk about amazing ~ wow! first of all, i am so incredibly proud of jonathan for the fabulous young man he has become. he is so loving and affectionate and grounded. and the music...honestly, i don't know how the people around us remained in their seats. (julie and i had to get up and dance at one point). the 110 are cool in a way that the OSU band is not. they are unpretentious and look like they're having the time of their lives. if you ever have the opportunity to see them perform, do it. (for a clip of jonathan and the drumline on youtube, see the post below.)

i won't say how, lest my mother reads this post, but i recently "stumbled" upon a box of photos that belonged to my beloved grandmother. i'm not quiet sure, but this just may be the view from heaven:

this picture was taken from my grandmother's back porch. the shade of the apple tree unseen to the left) is casting a shadow across the back yard. my grandfather usually planted his garden on the left side of the walk only; the other side of the yard was reserved for serious badminton playing.

at work this week, we were talking about thanksgiving traditions. a tradition that julie and i had for many years was setting grandma's thanksgiving table. even during our college years, we would go to her house the night before thanksgiving, get out the china and flatware and beautiful pink goblets, and set the table. then, we would hang out in the kitchen, drink coffee, and listen to her talk about the menu for the following day, which never changed, and was always scribbled down on the back of an envelope (or so it seemed). i'm not sure when the photo below was taken, but this table was definitely set for thanksgiving, and it was done with love by two devoted granddaughters.

i've been thinking alot about everything i have to be thankful for this holiday, and perhaps it all sounds so trite: i have a beautiful family with two healthy and happy children, and i am blessed with a job i truly adore. but maybe, what i'm most thankful for this year is that i have a memory that is sharp and clear and filled with cherished remembrances of a relationship that provided for me the most well-defined meaning of unconditional love that i have ever known. i mean seriously, who couldn't love this...


i was definitely a girl built for relationship. but i must admit, i have done a very sloppy job of cultivating and making time for my friends this year. i am blessed to know beautiful, warm, loving, and funny women who i adore spending time with, but it seems that i allow work, and the overall "busy-ness" of life to get in my way. i need to improve on this. and for those of you still hanging in there and counting me as "friend", thanks. i owe you.

as i just stated, work has been rather overwhelming for me this year. i am team-teaching another class and not taking any planning periods throughout the week. if i take a planning period, i'm letting someone down. i can't be everywhere at once, and most of my co-workers understand this. my principal has been wonderful about me insisting that i take a break when i need one, but it almost seems easier during the day to not stop, to not lose momentum. i must admit, i'm feeling a little more "fried" than usual. but i love my kids. yes, they are a challenge, and i could tell you stories about the most horrific child abuse and neglect and parents in prison and lice infestation and drug use that would bring you to tears. but man, i love those kids.

kate is growing. a lot. the girl is a TREE. she's grown almost two full inches in the past five and a half months. she's also becoming more beautiful. that red hair of hers, though, is no lie. what spunk. i wonder where she gets that from? (see picture above). ian is, quite simply, a stud (yes, he's only 8). kind-hearted, a total cutie, and a fantastic athlete, he is the apple of my eye. i hope to post some up-to-date photos of them soon.

i'm going to close this post with a little silly and a little serious. first of all, as a final thanksgiving wish, i am going to leave you with this clip from the funniest thanksgiving sitcom episode ever: wkrp in cincinnati's "turkeys away", in which the station inadvertantly killed turkeys by dropping them from a helicopter. to quote mr. carlson: "as god as my witness, i thought turkeys could fly."

WKRP in Cincinnati: Thanksgiving Turkey Bomb! @ Yahoo! Video

and lastly, julie used this quote from her message last sunday at church, and it has really hit home with me. i'm seriously thinking about mounting it above my computer at work as a daily reminder of my own need for more humility:

"Is life so wretched? Isn't it rather your hands which are too small, your vision which is muddled? You are the one who must grow up." - Dag Hammarskjold

my thanksgiving prayer is that God will increase the size of my heart and hands, and give me the vision to see others for who they really are. i do, indeed, need to grow up.

emerson was correct

Flowers are a proud assertion that a ray of beauty outvalues all the utilities of the world. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson, 1844

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suzanne's card

“When we cast our bread upon the waters, we can presume that someone downstream whose face we will never know will benefit from our action..." - maya angelou