HE's a computer geek, too.

one sentence: true stories told in one sentence

have you seen this site before? it’s kinda cool. true stories told in one sentence. the massive tag cloud indicates that pretty much every life topic is addressed in one way or another. we all have a story to tell, hmmm?

a few sentences that i found funny:

* having a baby feels like trying to push a freight train up a mountain with your hoo-ha.

* i conduct job interviews for a living and nothing gives me a better sense of wielding karma than giving the job to the nervous kid instead of the better qualified arrogant prick.

* he's ruined half of my music library for me.

* my very married, sixty-year-old father obviously doesn't know that you can search by e-mail address on Myspace since he has a page that says he's thirty, single, and there for "dating."

i’ve been trying to come up with my own one sentence story, but i’m finding that it varies from day to day, depending on my mood, if i’m feeling nostalgic, etc...

what would your sentence be? would you ever consider posting it on the site?

just curious...

i'm not too handy with a camera

but i still love these pictures of my flowers!

Did you know...

The presence of flowers triggers happy emotions, heightens feelings of life satisfaction and affects social behavior in a positive manner far beyond what is normally believed, according to a recent behavioral research study conducted at Rutgers, The State University of New Jersey. Nature provides us with a simple way to improve emotional health in a high-tech, fast-paced lifestyle.

Researchers exploring the link between flowers and life satisfaction found that:
•Flowers have an immediate effect on happiness, a universal reaction that occurs in all age groups.

•Flowers have a long-term positive effect on moods. Study participants said they felt less depressed, anxious and agitated after receiving flowers.

•Flowers make intimate connections. The presence of flowers led to increased contact with family and friends.

"Common sense tells us that flowers make us happy,” said Dr. Jeannette Haviland-Jones, professor of psychology at Rutgers and lead researcher on the study. "Now science shows us that not only do flowers make us happier than we know, they have strong positive effects on our emotional well-being.”

"I'm sure that if you knew, you'd try to help in one way or another." - Mike Wallace

"People who don't know, who say it's (depression) self-indulgence, sound callous, but it's not callousness born of indifference; I think it's callousness born of ignorance. That kind of ignorance we've got to get rid of, and little by little I suppose, we will. You say to them, 'It's a pity you don't know. I'm sure that if you knew, I'm sure that if you really knew, not only wouldn't you say that, you'd try to help in one way or another." - Mike Wallace, On the Edge of Darkness

about ten years ago, i found this quote on the internet. mike wallace had decided to become vulnerable and go public about his battle with depression. as a result, i immediately purchased "on the edge of darkness" from amazon. it's become my bible, of sorts.

a few days ago, leo shared with me that a notre dame acquaintance had committed suicide. only 29 years old with a successful career and a baby due in november, this gentleman chose to end his life. i've known my husband for over 15 years, and this is at least the third suicide that has impacted him since we've been together. last night, he admitted to me that he is "thrown" by all of this.

i didn't respond to his comment. (perhaps this is my response, instead?) the truth is, mike wallace's words hold true: "if you knew, if you really knew..." one can't understand until he knows, really knows what the disease is like. unfortunately, the only way to know it is to actually live it.

when i was first diagnosed with depression in 1997, leo was completely unaware that i had been living in hell. i hadn't slept in weeks, although i was lying beside him every night. i was hiding food or throwing it in the trash to make it appear that i was eating. i was still going to work every day, even though my mind was racing with destructive thoughts.

i never actually contemplated intentional suicide. i do remember, however, driving on 220 west in freezing cold temperatures, snow flurries brushing off the windshield, and thinking... "god, i don't think i could do it (suicide), but if you wanted to make my car slide off the side of the road and crash into that telephone pole, it would be okay. at least i could rest."

if you don't know, you don't understand.

suicide is not a pointless or random act. to people who think about ending their own lives, suicide represents an answer to an otherwise unsolvable problem. it is a choice that is somehow preferable to the continued emotional distress which the person fears more than death. those in a suicidal frame of mind have tunnel vision; there is no solution, no way out, no light at the end of the tunnel. they are inundated with an overwhelming sense of hopelessness about the future. they are convinced that absolutely nothing can be done to improve their lives.

can you imagine this kind of existence? how horrifying.

i didn't know the young man who died this past week. and i can't even begin to wrap myself around the pain that his family is going through. but i do have an inkling of the amount of distress that he must have endured to bring him to this point. and i feel so sorry for him.

there are those who would call me selfish in my feelings for this gentleman; how could i feel sorry for a man who has inflicted such torturous emotion upon his loved ones? please understand, in feeling sorry for him, i am not discounting the pain that has been innocently thrust upon his parents and wife. it's just that...

if you don't know, you don't understand.

so, what is the answer?

depression is still, what i call, "a bastard disease". it's the dirty little secret affecting every family that no one wants to talk about. instead, denial causes the disease to manifest itself in substance abuse and alcoholism, in divorce and mid-life crises, in reclusiveness and loss of relationship. so, we have to get it out of the closet.

we have to disconnect the disease from shame.

shame causes those who suffer to hide. shame causes those who suffer to self-medicate. shame causes those who suffer to take their own lives.

i'm one of the lucky ones. medication and therapy have worked for me, thank God. i have not lost friends or co-workers as a result of my honesty about my disease. God gave me enough courage to ask for help. it took a great amount of suffering in silence to bring me to my knees, but i thank Him every day for the gift of my treatment.

this is not to say that i have depression licked. this is not to say that i am not terrified at the thought that someday my disease will take a ravenous turn for the worse. that for some inexplicable reason, my meds will cease to work, and i will find myself in a hole so deep that there seems no way out. such thoughts occupy the deepest recesses of mind daily.

for now, i try to be both helpful and hopeful. and i earnestly pray, that someday, there will be a magical key that unlocks a cure for all who suffer. no individual should have to endure such hopelessness, and no family should have to endure such tragic loss.

argghhh ~ a random stream of consciousness, matey

* did you know that today, september 19, is "talk like a pirate day"? i kid you not. you can check it out here. (does hallmark have a card for this?) at any rate, there are even sites on the web where you can generate your own pirate name. from now on, just call me "plunderin' billy".

* i hate postnasal drip. it irritates the heck out of me. seriously. i googled the the term and discovered that the glands in your nose and throat continually produce up to two quarts of mucus a day ~ which is normally swallowed unconsciously. gross. but hey, god had a plan there, eh? anyways, i woke up this morning after having postnasal drip ALL NIGHT, and my uvula was HUGE! gag. grrrr.... swallowing is not fun. (please don't confuse "uvula" with a female body part that is spelled similarly.)

* speaking of uvulas ~ did you know that people actually get these pierced? good grief. i stumbled upon some pictures of uvula piercings here. i can't even imagine...

* my small group at church is reading "messing spirituality" by mike yaconelli. talk about an awesome guy. here are a few of his equally awesome quotes:

* The truly holy people I've met in my life are really interesting people. They're a mix of the most incredible godliness and at the same time, the most unbelievable earthiness. I know a woman who curses like a sailor, but she's the most holy woman I know. She is! I'm not kidding. We've created this image of what holiness looks like that's just nonsense. Good holy people probably drink too much some times, and have colorful language, and there's plenty of room in the Bible to see people like that. We have to see life for what it is, entirely more complicated then simple. Spirituality is not simple; it's complicated. It gets messy sometimes.

* The grace of God is dangerous. It's lavish, excessive, outrageous, and scandalous. God's grace is ridiculously inclusive. Apparently God doesn't care who He loves. He is not very careful about the people He calls His friends or the people He calls His church.

* There are a whole lot of people who are so freakin' busy—they've so cluttered up their lives—they're at their wits' end. And if they'd only just stop for a minute, they could hear the God of the universe whisper to them, "I love you."

mike yaconelli said that at his funeral, those who eulogized him would simply say, "mike was a mess."

amen, dude. aren't we all?

a different kind of fantasy

leo and i have been on a diet for the past few weeks, and it's working. i've lost over ten pounds. but lately, i have been missing the decadence of food. to get myself to sleep these last few nights, i have been fantasizing about the cajun chicken linguini alfredo and cheddar biscuits at red lobster...

sometimes i think that if i could wish for anything, i would ask for the ability to eat whatever i want, in large quantities, and not gain a pound. food is my vice. there is nothing better than a wonderful meal, shared with equally wonderful people.

sigh...

pumpkin update

in a previous post, i talked about how a renegade pumpkin seed decided to take root and go crazy in the flower bed beside our house. i am now thrilled to announce the "birth" of our first baby ~ which you can see here! baby pumpkin #1 is over 16 inches long, but we haven't weighed him yet. we will be cutting his umbilical cord within the next couple of days, and he will be on display for visitors next week. (heehee)


we are also happy to announce that we are expecting two more bundles of joy, as you can see from the pictures below:





at the risk of sounding cliche, we consider these pumpkins to be something of a miracle. i mean, God made these little fellas out of one tiny seed! it's just way too cool...

"it's kind of fun to do the impossible" - walt disney

i had that quote up in my classroom last year. i stayed after school one afternoon and laboriously taped up every individual letter, so that the words spanned the length of my back wall.

the quote needs to be put back up.

i absolutely, positively, and without reservation, LOVE my job. i am so incredibly blessed to be where i am, doing something that i was born to do. but my goodness...last week was tiring.

one of my co-workers, a gentleman across the hall, said to me on friday that last week was the longest week of his 28 years in teaching. and it was. i am spread so thin this year, it makes me a little nervous. my principal asked me on friday how my class load was, and i told him that i needed to be in at least three places at one time every period of the day. no matter what i do, no matter where i opt to go, somebody is getting short-changed. i'm going to be in a state of constantly disappointing someone.

i don't like disappointing people, be they students or co-workers. the perfectionist in me hates that it will be IMPOSSIBLE to do my job PERFECTLY.

perhaps i need to adjust my radar, redefine my expectations, adopt a "new view" of the impossible, and simply remind myself every day of what walt disney said.

yep, that quote's going back up on the wall...