one word

my aunt kim sent me this email, and i thought it would be cool to post it on here:

"Here's what I would like you to do. Describe me in ONE WORD...just one word! Then forward this message on to your friends (including me) and see what they say about you! GAME ON!!"

instead of using email, maybe some of my blogging buddies can post this as well, and we can all respond to each other. and if no one responds to this post, i can only assume that's a pretty bad sign... :)

marty's movie mania is contagious

i think marty ford may be mine (and julie's) long-lost brother. he's as "into" movies as we are! his recent post identified his top ten movies, taken from AFI's list of the 100 top movies of all time. (and yes, marty, i stayed up until 2:00 am watching the west coast AFI tv special last week ~ i'm a moron: i have TiVo! why didn't i set it???)

here's my first list, with ten movies taken from AFI's list (in no particular order):

1. it's a wonderful life
2. all about eve
3. to kill a mockingbird
4. some like it hot
5. the philadelphia story
6. rocky
7. casablanca
8. shawshank redemption
9. gone with the wind
10. american graffiti

now, here are my top ten favorites of all time (in no particular order)...a few of which made the AFI list:

1. when harry met sally
2. random harvest
3. brief encounter
4. all about eve
5. it's a wonderful life
6. cinderella man
7. the quiet man
8. to kill a mockingbird
9. little miss sunshine
10. pride and prejudice
honorable mentions: pillow talk, sense and sensibility, the philadelphia story

quiz answers

1. st. elsewhere. amazing show and one of the best theme songs EVER!

2. bbq wings. they're okay, but definitely not my favorite. jaki taught me to love spinach and artichoke dip, which i have since passed on to my dear friend peggy. nothing beats a good quesadilla or some skins with LOTS of sour cream.

3. bridges of madison county. when francesca has her hand on the car door handle, i just want to scream "GO! GO! GO!".

4. purse. i love purses. i have no idea why. they're just my thing. period.

5. hugh jackman. have you seen him in his skivvies in the movie "someone like you"? when he and ashley judd are eating chinese food in the kitchen? yum.

6. thirtysomething. leo totally got me hooked on this show. unfortunately, it's no where to be found on tv.

7. peanut buster parfait. perfect combination of sweet and salty goodness.

8. wider smile. i have a little mouth. i've come to terms with my "shrunken chesticles" (small chest), but i could use some plastic surgery on my face.

9. pride and prejudice. boring book. great movie ~ one of the most romantic scenes ever in this film.

10. blind date. after six months of badgering by some mutual friends, i agreed to meet him. we were married seven months later.

always good for a laugh

the man song: an oldie, but a goodie. don't pay attention to the poor graphics ~ it's the song that's funny.

pool party

silly trivia quiz!

let me see your answers!

1. what show was i totally addicted to my first year of college?
a. the cosby show
b. miami vice
c. st. elsewhere
d. hill street blues

2. which of the following is not one of my favorite appetizers?
a. bbq wings
b. spinach and artichoke dip
c. chicken quesadilla
d. potato skins

3. which movie has made me cry every time i’ve seen it?
a. a walk to remember
b. bridges of madison county
c. steel magnolias
d. a beautiful mind

4. i am a _____ whore.
a. brand-name clothing
b. shoe
c. scrapbooking
d. purse

5. when playing a game of “who would you do”, i’d pick him first:
a. hugh jackman
b. brad pitt
c. johnny depp
d. patrick dempsey

6. i would like to buy this tv series on dvd:
a. cheers
b. thirtysomething
c. anything but love
d. mad about you

7. my favorite pms treat at the dairy queen is:
a. hot fudge sundae with nuts
b. peanut buster parfait
c. reese’s pieces blizzard
d. banana split with extra whipped cream

8. if i could change one thing about my appearance via surgery, it would be:
a. bigger boobs
b. wider smile
c. laser eye correction
d. tummy tuck

9. the last book i read for pleasure was:
a. me talk pretty one day
b. pride and prejudice
c. about a boy
d. marley and me

10. leo and i met:
a. at a basketball game
b. at a new year’s eve party
c. on a blind date
d. at the emmitt house

more than a gratuity is required

my sister julie spoke at church yesterday. afterwards, we went for lunch at dakota's. it was almost 1:30, so we had missed most of the "church crowd" that was there earlier.

one way that julie and i are alike is that we can talk to just about anyone about anything. our server's name at the restaurant was helen, and she was terrific ~ she worked her tail off and was as nice as she could be. every time she came to our table, we'd make small-talk with her, then the small-talk became a little bit longer with each visit.

julie mentioned in her teaching yesterday that sometimes christians make the worst restaurant customers. (she said she got ALL KINDS of looks from the audience when she threw that little pearl out.) at any rate, we decided to ask helen, "who are your worst customers?" ~ we clarified the meaning of worst as: demanding, rude, and impatient, along with poor-tipping. her answer, without hesistation: "church people."

we talked to helen for awhile about this, and then we decided to do a little informal survey. as helen called over different servers, julie posed the same question to all of them: "who are your worst customers?"

5 out of 6 of the servers said "church people" or "the church crowd" or "christians". they talked about dreading sunday shifts. one of them even mentioned a well-known family (in our community) by name and discussed how horribly they treat the staff. they described ranting customers who always leave having eaten for free, because they complained so much to the manager. i was embarrassed. (by the way, the 1 other vote was for "groups of old women". my apologies to any golden buckeyes out there reading this post.)

today, i googled this phrase: waiters say who are the worst customers. i found this great blog/article entitled "the dreaded church table" from relevant magazine, which is a christian publication. the author, daniel, who is a waiter, summed up his experience with church people in restaurants this way: (if you have time, though, read the entire article.)

so now every Sunday, i witness the painful, spiritual deaths of my (waiter) friends because those who are supposed to be saved treat them worse than those who have never even heard the message of Christ. if we don’t begin to love those whose job it is to serve, then the casualty rate on the front lines of the american church will continue to grow.

other articles/blogs on "church tables" in restaurants can be found here:

• http://www.str.org/site/News2?page=NewsArticle&id=6735
• http://seatmytable.blogspot.com/2006_04_01_archive.html

apparently, this isn't just a local problem.

pretty sad, huh?

i love you, grandma

the 16th anniversary of my grandmother's death is approaching. i can't believe it's been sixteen years. i miss her so much, it hurts sometimes. (sounds cliche, but it's true.)

her name was ruth evelyn cline. and she was the coolest. i mean, everyone thinks that their grandmother is awesome, but mine truly was.

grandma was rotten and ornery, incredibly smart and witty, compassionate yet stubborn. she was absolutely, whole-heartedly devoted to her grandchildren. in us, i believe, she found her greatest joy. it was her availability to all of us at anytime we needed her that was most endearing. i can honestly say ~ and I’m sure the other seven grandchildren would agree ~ that she was the most compelling example of unconditional love that we will ever know in our lifetime. she was our hero, our rock, and our biggest fan.

i remember so many little things about her, like the way she would prop her bare feet on the side of the refrigerator as she smoked her camel unfiltered cigarettes...the way she stood up to my staunch grandfather by referring to most of what he said as 'horseshit'...snuggling up beside her on the couch as she thumbed through catalogs ~ she would always lick her finger and turn the page, then point to pretty things with her perfectly polished fingernails (this was one of the most relaxing of my pastimes)...i can still smell her estee lauder body cream...still see the bedspread and sheets she bought for my college dorm room...still hear her driving instructions as we poked along in parking lots in bristol village...

but mostly i remember simply being welcome. welcome to come calling anytime to talk about anything.

i would have never made it through college without my grandmother. (the picture above was taken the day i graduated from morehead.) she supported julie and i both financially and emotionally. i remember being stressed in college and calling her ~ and she told me that everything was going to be okay...all i needed to do was "read a good dirty book." (she promptly threw a trashy novel in the mail, which i of course perused for long, descriptive sex scenes. she was correct by the way ~ it did take the edge off!)

we played alot of euchre. me, julie, grandma, and grandpa. she would let us drink alcohol in the safe confines of her kitchen, even though her own daughter (our mother) strongly objected to it (mind you, we were over 21). one time, in the middle of a euchre match, while nibbling on cheez-its and drinking our fuzzy navels, mom walked in the back door and caught us...oh man, mom was pissed! i think back on that now and just laugh...

the night before she died (she was going in for scheduled surgery), she was warming up wax on her kitchen stove so she could 'do' her upper lip. we were catching lightning bugs in her back yard, and i was pensively waiting on a phone call from a guy that i was semi-dating at the time. i gave her a kiss on the cheek and she said, "don't worry kids, i'm going to be fine." we believed her, of course. she could never leave us. it would just never happen.

we grandchildren were wounded beyond measure the next day. totally blind-sided.

the biggest regret that i have is that she never met the family that i have made for myself. my husband and children would have adored her as much as i still do. i often tease leo that if grandma were still alive, he would be smoking camel unfiltereds and eating lunch with her daily. she just had that kind of personality. you wanted to be with her.

when leo and i had kate, i insisted (and he totally agreed) that at least part of grandma's name be used with our daughter. thus, katharine ruth gillen. they are alike in so many ways, chiefly the stubborness and spunk. it's obviously inherent.

in a scrapbook that i made about my grandmother, there was a holiday picture of all of us grandchildren huddled around her on the floor of her living room. she was passing out packages ~ she loved christmas and could make the most wonderful bows! ~ but we weren't down there for the presents...

even at a very early age, we knew where the love came from.

perfectionistic list-maker with OCD tendencies

perfectionistic: first off, i had to delete that stupid "muskrat love" blog entry. i hated the entry as much as i hated the song.

list-maker: i'm about three hours in to my summer vacation and i've already made a list of 32 things that need to be done around here. i use the word "need" loosely, of course. the list includes a little bit of everything ~ from staining the back deck to cleaning out closets to checking out books at the library to read for pleasure, because when i'm working i never have time to read for pleasure. (here's a question for you though: if i have to add "read for pleasure" to my "things to do list", am i really doing it for pleasure? hmmm....i think only my therapist could answer that one.) i haven't even included "lay out in the pool" yet and get a tan because tan fat looks better than white fat.

as i stated in an earlier post, having something to look forward to (i.e. staying busy) helps me ward off the dog. the trick is to not stay soooo busy that i miss out on enjoying the ride.

ocd tendencies: dr. k. and i talked about these at my last visit. my list-making and journaling are my ways of combatting both the clinical depression and what appears to be some ocd.

this ocd thing has blatantly manifested itself in the most ridiculous way in the past few months ~ for example, i can't lie in bed and watch tv unless ALL of the dresser drawers are closed...and there can't be any clothes peeking out either. leo and i were in bed watching "the states" on the history channel the other night (we're dorks, but we LOVE that show!) and i was going nuts...a pair of his boxers were sticking out of the drawer, thus distracting me from learning everything i ever wanted to know about wyoming. i got up, calmly went to the dresser, pushed the boxers back in, and climbed back under the covers. leo cracked up, as did i. yep, he's married to a freak. thank goodness he's so patient with me.

dr. k. talked to me about learning to leave the dresser drawers open, metaphorically of course. i have 32 dresser drawers open for the summer already, and many more are bound to crack open and spill their contents into my life, i'm sure. my prayer for the next couple of months is to be content with closing only as many as i can, and realizing that if i don't get to all of them, i'm still a pretty okay person.

sister, can you spare a ride?

i was coming out of domino's pizza, and there he was. jerry. a former classmate of mine. i almost didn't recognize him ~ his hair is very long and, like mine, is starting to gray. he's so thin, but then again, he always was wiry. i made eye contact with him and put up my hand to wave. he stared at me, intently, and asked, "smitty?".

yes, jerry, it's me.

jerry was drunk. not fall-down drunk, but he was pretty wasted. he was trying to maneuver a rickety old bicycle and simultaneously carry the case of beer that he had just bought at the speedway gas station. i asked him if he was okay, and he said he needed two dollars.

"i only have a five, jerry. it's yours if you need it."

he takes the money and says that what he really needs is a ride ~ his buddies are drinking about a block away and he has been sent on the latest beer run.

"smitty, if the cops catch me drunk on this bike, with this beer, i'm in big trouble."

"get in the car, jerry."

now, i have to admit, at this point, part of me is wondering what the heck i'm doing. but i silently throw up a quick prayer and tell god to be my co-pilot for the next couple of minutes.

you see, jerry has been in prison...several times. he is also HIV positive (although some maintain that he has full-blown AIDS). whether this is the result of his intensive drug use or devastating events that happened to him in prison is anybody's guess. and while we shouldn't judge someone by his outward appearance, jerry definitely looks the part of a junkie ~ a poor soul whose body has been ravaged by drugs, alcohol, and life circumstances too horrific to imagine.

so, jerry loads himself and his case of beer into the back seat of my car. he leaves the bike by a lamp post in the speedway parking lot.

"smitty, we used to play in your back yard together, didn't we?"

"yes, we did jerry. those were some good times."

"i really need to talk to you, smitty. can i have your phone number?"

"call the church, jerry. they will put you in touch with someone who can help."

"but i want to talk to you."

"i'm sorry, jerry, i can't give you my home phone number."

i feel bad about this, but common sense says that there is no way i can give him my home phone number. in all honesty, it's a safety issue.

within no time, we reach his destination.

"just pull up the alley here, smitty. those are my buddies."

so up the alley i go, and there they are ~ about ten very inebriated shirtless and tattooed men.

"don't worry smitty, they won't hurt you."

now, this statement throws me. i'm not scared at all. his friends could care less that i'm there. they just want their beer, i'm sure. it's not like i'm getting out of the car...i'm just dropping off the guy they sent on a run. but there's something almost protective in jerry's voice. like he genuinely appreciates me giving him a ride, and he would never let anything happen to me.

then he said something that broke my heart:

"jodi, hurry and get out of here. i wouldn't want anyone to see you in this alley with ME."

oh jerry.

"just call the church, jerry. please. here's the number."

this whole scenario didn't last more than three minutes, but it has left me thinking about hope. is jerry beyond hope? i mean, really...it would take an ABSOLUTE MIRACLE for him to 'make it'. is it possible that he could have ever had a moment of sincere interaction with christ and known him, even if it was only for a second? is he doomed to hell? do miracles still happen? how am i, or anyone else for that matter, supposed to help him? 'cause i don't think i can help him.

what do we do about all of the jerry's in the world?