the science of snow days

my most recent mathematical theorem:

"the number of inches of snow is directly proportional to my desire to eat for no reason which is then multiplied to the nth degree by the fact that I am dieting and should absolutely not be eating for recreational purposes."

mathematically, it looks like this:

s = d^n

in latin, it looks like this:

"numerus of inches of snow est directus congruens ut meus votum essum pro haud causa quod est tunc multiplicatus ut nth inhonestus per quod EGO sum dieting quod should absolutely non exsisto eating pro recreational voluntas."

or simply put:

"i just want to make homemade brownie batter and eat it right out of the bowl.”