it's nothing serious

an individual recently commented (to me, in person) that she enjoyed reading my blog but noticed i hadn't really written about anything deep or serious lately.

hmmm...not sure what she was implying, but she seemed disappointed.

as i've stated in previous posts, when i started this blog i genuinely thought that it was a place where i could be completely open and honest about stuff going on in my life.

what on EARTH was i thinking???

while i relish the opportunity to share my struggles with depression and possibly be a source of hope, information, and comfort to others on the same journey, i have learned the hard way NOT to talk about certain things...'CAUSE THIS BLOGOSPHERE IS JUST TOO SMALL. (plus, i live in a community where your business quickly becomes everyone else's business anyways.)

honesty in my blog, i believe, has lead to me being accused of things i haven't done, and potentially hurting people i don't mean to hurt. would i love to tell you about situations and people at work that disappoint me? you bet. but i can't. the same goes for hurful feelings about family and friends and fellow church members. i don't dare breathe a word about those things on here (anymore). it's just not worth it.

don't read my blog if your looking for the bad stuff...because it's not coming. i will continue to be honest about things and people and experiences that i love or make me smile. i will continue to be honest about my depression, just in case it helps someone else.

but in terms of gut-wrenching "let me tell you about my crappy day and all the crappy people in it", forget it.

i'd rather talk to god about my "stuff".

i just don't trust the world out there.