v-day

the picture above accompanied a very "right-on" editorial piece in time magazine, written by nancy gibbs. if you have time, read the article in its entirety! until you do that, here's my take on nancy's insights into valentine's day.

when i was in high school, v-day was second only to new year's eve as being the "worst" holiday. i was every guy's best friend ~ not the chick whose bra they wanted to unhook and passionately kiss in a parked car. those girls got valentine flowers and candy and what-not. i think i got orange carnations from my dad once.

when i was in grade school, valentine's day seemed more like the event that was most likely to piss off my mom. lord have mercy, that woman was perturbed at us when we (julie and i) would ask her to help us make valentine's boxes for our classroom parties. no kidding...

"i don't even know if we have any boxes." (mom is exasperated)
"when do you need them?" (uh, by february 14)
"you BOTH need one?" (uh, yeah, if it's not too much trouble)
"we're out of glue." (it's too much trouble)
"i'll have to go BUY glue." (guilt trip)
"can't we just cover a box in aluminum foil?" (*sigh* okay)

(when i became a teacher, i promised myself that no student of mine would ever go through this drama. instead, every year i asked a local pizza shop for large white bags, and my kids would decorate them for valentine's day.)

nancy mentions in her article how "Children are expected to bring a valentine for every classmate, unlike the days of our youth, when the teachers would collect the cards in a big red box and then call out names one by one, in a public accounting of exactly how many friends each child actually had."

i think i remember this!!! for some reason, very early on, i don't think i gave valentines to everybody. later, i remember thinking (compassionately ~ wink, wink) , "i'll give a valentine to everyone, but THESE kids will get the UGLY ones because i really don't like them anyways." does this ring a bell with any of you? on the flip side, i also think i remember counting my valentines to see if i had gotten one from all of my classmates...comparing the number of valentines in my box with the amount my friends had. that's a pretty vicious popularity contest to engage in at such a young age. unfortunately, it was a sad pre-cursor to the societal norms of junior high and high school.

"True romance comes unscheduled, unruly, "a madness most discreet," quoth Romeo. Overtime, as it ripens into devotion, still it improvises, a favor rendered, a sudden kiss, a private joke, flowers for no reason."

i agree with gibbs here. the element of surprise, when it comes to love, is most convincing. in reality, any joe-schmo can buy valentine's junk for his sweetie every february 14. it's what happens the other 364 days of the year that really counts. the minute it feels like a duty, it has lost its purpose.

i'll end this post as gibbs ended her piece with the following quote by shakespeare...oh, and here's hoping all of you have a valentine's day filled with genuine smiles and affection...

"Love sought is good, but given unsought is better."