schoolteacher blues

i really wanted to write an honest, raw, emotional entry about my job, but lest i be "dooced", i've decided against it. this blogging universe is actually pretty small...and i would hate for the 'powers that be' to stumble upon my writing and misinterpret what i'm saying. so, i'm going to edit my feelings somewhat as i mope through this post...

i love teaching. i really do. it's what i was born to do. but lately, there's been a TON of extra baggage attached to my job. and it's weighing me down.

in the past few weeks, i have witnessed so many disheartening things...and i'm not just talking about situations with my students. (gosh darn it, there are some situations i wish i could talk about on here.)

today, i had to have a girl removed from my room. i NEVER do that. she was so incredibly disrespectful and nasty and obtrusive ~ most of my first period kids are. this is the battle i fight every day. most of the time i win ~ i can calmly and lovingly talk them down from the mania that drives them to swear and throw things and boast of the misdeeds they delight in doing. i listen calmly as they tell me of their run-ins with the law, their need for tobacco before school, and the injuries they have sustained from shooting bb guns at each other or burning their fingers on roach clips. they trust me, and most of the time, they behave for me the best that they know how. it's just that this battle is starting to wear on me. with these kids, there seems to be so little return on my investment...

they don't change.

oh, and the academic requirements inflicted upon these same students by No Child Left Behind (NCLB) only exacerbates the problem. (BIG sigh...)

anyone out there know any government officials who would be willing to shadow me for a week and get a taste of what is REALLY happening in the lives of children raised in appalachian poverty? i mean, do they KNOW who and what these kids are living with? do they even have a clue about what we are up against?

more importantly, do they even care...