two weeks ago i had my three-month tune-up. you know...meds checked, confirmation that i'm not talking to pink elephants, that i'm actually sleeping, etc. the regular stuff. my check-ups are a breeze when i'm feeling okay. and i was lucky to be feeling okay that day. in fact, my doc actually said, and i quote, "you have a lightness about you," meaning that i was not bogged down in the mire...as is typical for november. i explained that i had recently made the decision to cut very toxic individuals and situations from my life, and that could explain my "lightness".
he told me it was about time.
okay, so, i've had some shaky moments since my check-up. headaches. really weird appetite ~ borderline nausea that turns into ravenous hunger. inability to focus. racing thoughts. typical symptoms. but they seem to be coming and going...as opposed to just coming and staying. and for that, i am grateful. yes, this thanksgiving, i am grateful that as of yet, the black dog is not on my heels. he's poked his head around the corner a couple of times, just to remind me that he hasn't disappeared, and that's okay. he just needs to keep himself at a reasonable distance.
so, anyways, i love the quote by dr. menninger above. it's true, whether you choose to believe it or not.
a few weeks ago, a young man in our community attempted suicide. i know of him, but don't know him personally. still, when i found out what happened, i wanted desperately to help. his pain is real. his need for help is legitimate. i'm sure his family feels helpless. i hope they are not also feeling shame.
a very close friend in my life (who desires anonymity) is trying desperately to get mental health treatment, but keeps being put off by every counseling office that she calls; either they can't see her for another 6 weeks, or worse yet, one office said that if she were on a medical card, they could see her right away. but because she is a professional, with insurance, she'll just have to wait. her comment to me, "jodi, i'm literally begging for help, and i can't get it."
of course, the desire for anonymity (those of us with a mental illness usually desire it) is caused by stigma. stigma kills. if you haven't read the article about the death of robert enke, a european soccer player who chose to kill himself rather than disclose his clinical depression, then please click here. his story is devastatingly familiar.
finally, if you haven't had a chance to check out two of my absolute favorite websites, please go to Bring Change 2 Mind and No Kidding, Me Too. joe pantoliano has been on my hero's list for a long time; now i'm gonna have to add glenn close as well.
by the way, if you head over to Bring Change 2 Mind, they have these really cool t-shirts, with a diagnosis on some, and then "sister", or "mother, or "combat partner", etc. on the other one. i'd like to order one that says "depression" when the website opens their shop.
in reality, shouldn't we all be buying a shirt? either we have an illness, or we love someone who does.
perhaps that's the point.
Big Boo Cast: Episode 380
1 month ago
No comments:
Post a Comment