uh . . . this has me worried

one of my children. . .

 ...helping my child.  a thing of beauty.

"mental health problems do not affect three or four out of every five persons, but one out of one.” - dr. william menninger

two weeks ago i had my three-month tune-up. you know...meds checked, confirmation that i'm not talking to pink elephants, that i'm actually sleeping, etc.  the regular stuff.  my check-ups are a breeze when i'm feeling okay.  and i was lucky to be feeling okay that day.  in fact, my doc actually said, and i quote, "you have a lightness about you," meaning that i was not bogged down in the mire...as is typical for november.  i explained that i had recently made the decision to cut very toxic individuals and situations from my life, and that could explain my "lightness". 

he told me it was about time.

okay, so, i've had some shaky moments since my check-up.  headaches.  really weird appetite ~ borderline nausea that turns into ravenous hunger.  inability to focus. racing thoughts.  typical symptoms.  but they seem to be coming and going...as opposed to just coming and staying.  and for that, i am grateful.  yes, this thanksgiving, i am grateful that as of yet, the black dog is not on my heels.  he's poked his head around the corner a couple of times, just to remind me that he hasn't disappeared, and that's okay.  he just needs to keep himself at a reasonable distance.

so, anyways, i love the quote by dr. menninger above.  it's true, whether you choose to believe it or not. 

a few weeks ago, a young man in our community attempted suicide.  i know of him, but don't know him personally.  still, when i found out what happened, i wanted desperately to help.  his pain is real.  his need for help is legitimate.  i'm sure his family feels helpless.  i hope they are not also feeling shame.

a very close friend in my life (who desires anonymity) is trying desperately to get mental health treatment, but keeps being put off by every counseling office that she calls; either they can't see her for another 6 weeks, or worse yet, one office said that if she were on a medical card, they could see her right away.  but because she is a professional, with insurance, she'll just have to wait.  her comment to me, "jodi, i'm literally begging for help, and i can't get it."

of course, the desire for anonymity (those of us with a mental illness usually desire it) is caused by stigma.  stigma kills.  if you haven't read the article about the death of robert enke, a european soccer player who chose to kill himself rather than disclose his clinical depression, then please click here.  his story is devastatingly familiar.

finally, if you haven't had a chance to check out two of my absolute favorite websites, please go to Bring Change 2 Mind and No Kidding, Me Too.  joe pantoliano has been on my hero's list for a long time; now i'm gonna have to add glenn close as well. 

by the way, if you head over to Bring Change 2 Mind, they have these really cool t-shirts, with a diagnosis on some, and then "sister", or "mother, or "combat partner", etc. on the other one.  i'd like to order one that says "depression" when the website opens their shop. 

in reality, shouldn't we all be buying a shirt?  either we have an illness, or we love someone who does. 

perhaps that's the point.

weekend thank-yous

to jenn and eli, dan and laura, fern, and mario. i never take kindness for granted.

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. ~Plato

you go, glenn

here's some info from glenn close's new advocacy group, BringChange2Mind.  pretty cool stuff.  make sure you check it out.  in addition to his public service announcement, ron howard shot several other videos worth watching here.  i've included a behind-the-scenes clip of the PSA below.

BringChange2Mind.org is a not-for-profit organization created by Glenn Close, the Child and Adolescent Bipolar Foundation (CABF), Fountain House, and Garen and Shari Staglin of IMHRO (International Mental Health Research Organization).  The idea of a national anti-stigma campaign was born of a partnership between Glenn Close and Fountain House, where Glenn volunteered in order to learn about mental illness, which both her sister and nephew suffer from.

BringChange2Mind's mission is two-fold:

1. Provide people with misconceptions about mental illness quick and easy access to information that combats stigma.
2. Provide people with mental illness, and those who know them, quick and easy access to information about support.

Ron Howard generously donated his time in directing our first PSA that features Glenn Close and her sister, Jessie Close. John Mayer generously donated his song, Say, which serves as an anthem for this movement.

Our campaign has the support of major mental health organizations, including Active Minds, the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP), International Mental Health Research Organization (IMHRO), the Jed Foundation, Mental Health America (MHA), National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), NARSAD, National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), and the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA).

judging and condeming others: by father john dietzen

read this article by fr. dietzen today in the catholic times:

Q:  Shortly after the funeral of Sen. Ted Kennedy, I was stunned to hear a talk-show person commenting, "Who is going to tell the children that Sen. Kennedy is not going to heaven."  Being raised Catholic, I was taught that even a last-minute act of contrition or plea to God would assure us of a place in heaven.  Could you clarify what he said?

A:  I don't know this individual's religious beliefs, of course, but from the viewpoint of Catholic teaching and that of most other mainline Christian traditions, the statement was shamefully uninformed and shallow.

Even some Catholics seem equally unaware of (or maybe they just don't accept) Catholic and common Christian belief, which pretty much parallels what you said.  God's grace is always at work in each of us as long as we live.

Sadly, some people have just enough faith to believe in a God who judges us, but not enough faith to believe in a God who loves us.  So they believe their surest way of pleasing God is to judge others as well.

We all need forgiveness.  As one spiritual writer put it, we are all beggars at the door of God's mercy.  We have a hard enough time trying to discern the secret movements of God's grace in our own hearts without pretending to know the inner secrets of someone else.

It is the grossest kind of spiritual pride, not to say foolishness, to imagine we have inside knowledge of God's relationship with any other human being, or that we know which people He should condemn or not. 

There is also the fact that we have a direct and serious command of our Lord not to judge one another. To claim or act as if we can judge another person's state of soul, that we have knowledge of that person's most intimate relationship with God, even what God's eternal plan is for that person, is or should be among other things just silly for anyone who professes to believe in the God of Christians. 

Unfortunately, there are too many who, letting their emotions and prejudices get the better of them, recklessly are willing to do just that.

So,  your instincts are spiritually healthy.  Self-righteous contempt and ridicule of those we disagree with sometimes appear politically useful and even make one feel self-satisfied, but not only is such a strategy seriously wrong, it never advances the cause of good.

St. Thomas Aquinas, along with countless other Catholic theologians, reminds us that God has ways of reaching people with His love and grace about which we know nothing.  That is our faith. 

This may sound trite, but it is nonetheless valid:  We must hate the sin, but love the sinner.  That's what Jesus always did, and that's what he requires us to do.

maybe i'm just feeling hormonal

a friend of mine frequently quotes the bumper-sticker slogan "mean people suck." i don't know that i've ever heard of a statement that so crudely, succinctly, and yet so accurately defines a subgroup of humanity. she's right.  mean people do, in fact, suck.

i was putting up my outside christmas lights today (seeing as how it was over 70 degrees and this must be indian summer and who knows, we could have snow on the ground tomorrow) and reflecting on the past year...and boy what a year it has been...and wow, have i had the misfortune of being around some really mean people.  egads.  i was speaking with a pastor from another church this evening about my disillusionment with folks in general, and asking him what the deal was.  i mean, really.  what's the deal? 

i've heard psychologists and counselors and tv personalities like dr. phil say that there is always a "pay-off" for behavior.  and so i'm asking...what's the pay-off?  hey, you mean folks out there...what are you getting out of it?  seriously.  which fruit of the spirit are you cultivating...love (agape), joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, or self-control???  pick one, and explain please...

cause i'm curious about the pay-off.

his mother's son

after bringing home a disappointing science grade yesterday, ian looked at me, tears streaming down his face, and lamented with a panicked cry:

"what if i'm STUPID and there's NOTHING we can do about it?"

it bears repeating

that crazy mike yaconelli...what was he thinking, talking about God this way?  (sarcasm intended)

"the grace of God is dangerous. it's lavish, excessive, outrageous, and scandalous. God's grace is ridiculously inclusive. apparently God doesn't care who He loves. He is not very careful about the people He calls His friends or the people He calls His church."